Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting by Laura Markham

Author:Laura Markham
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2012-11-27T05:00:00+00:00

Keep breathing and stay calm. When a child is working on old fears, he can go on like this for an hour or more. That’s how big this fear was to him. You are giving him a tremendous gift. Remind yourself that this is the help your child was asking for when he acted out. Once these fears are cleared out, they’re gone, and you and your child are liberated from them, free to go on together to a better life.

Honor his grief. Sometimes kids will finish this hard emotional work, look up at you, and change the subject. That’s fine; she’s signaling that she’s done for now. Don’t worry; if there’s more to get out, it will come up another time. You can say, “What hard work you did, sweetie,” and follow her lead into the new subject. But often after children express their fears, they collapse into your arms in tears. Crying in your arms is his chance to let out his deepest sadness and begin to heal it. Let him cry as long as he wants. If he stops, make eye contact. If he’s able to hold your gaze, he’s let out what he needs to. If not, you can help him release more pent-up emotion by reminding him of whatever upset him to begin with: “I’m sorry I didn’t cut the sandwich the right way, sweetie.”

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